consumer

sometimes I feel like I would be better off dead than alive in a big picture way

I don't think

I'll ever be a good writer
everything I write
I can't stand to look at
after a while

and I'm not just talking about words

drawer

There is a drawer in a dresser.
In a room where everything is dusty and smells like neglect
and the fire breathing furnacedragon hisses watch your step!
this drawer is full of~
paper, plastic, tin, oak, some odd shapes lots of flats
(letters,photos,drawings,empty packages,notes,signs) [stories,hearts,souls,love,anger,apology,guilt,smiles,
laughs,tearsdry,hellos,goodbyes,goodnights,good-nights]
{lifetimes}
In twenty years
I have collected cataloged and stored
entire people
entire (me)s
[who look like me... sort of, the fingerprints will match if anything]
{(me)s who are gone/re/tucked in/tossed out/moved over/moved where}


I could be twenty
I could be four

I sometimes have trouble remembering
not things
they are in the drawer, they are taped sealed
how it was to be
(me)

I don't know...